Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Shame

"You didn't know?" she asked me.
"No!" 
I was red.  furious, hurt.  and suddenly hard. 
"No," I said again.  Typed, actually.  in the quiet office, suddenly all the more large and empty because of my despair.
The words my ex-girlfriend's sister typed hit harder with each revealed fact of her sister's infidelities. 
"Kim said you knew and you were OK with it ... how many? ... wow ... I don't know... She fucked her boss - God, she was way drunk then.  Her ex.  The one who was in prison.  He comes over all the time.  Oh, she does hate him.  Kind of ... but .... are you sure you want to know?  His dick is .... it's huge.  God, there were at least two other guys...."
My head spun.  For two months I had been pretty proud of how I had hidden my new affair from the cow.  I was even more proud that I felt I was proving my masculinity to myself by bedding a 21-year-old blonde girl with an insatiable sex drive and piercings galore.  She was wild; the sex was amazing and according to her, we were falling in love.  I never argue with that brand of crazy, even when I don't feel the same way.  I love the rollercoaster.  Plus, better to be the one being obsessed over, than the one obsessing. 

But somehow I lost that control. 
She wanted me to be increasingly dominant, which I became.  Rougher, which I was.  She wanted a true Dom and I did my best to deliver.  After failed attempt after failed attempt, I knew it was bad.  And as I did my best to keep her, I sank into old roles.  Telling her how much I cared.  How special she was.  That I loved her too.  I knew it was a mistake.  I knew it was giving up my control.  Proving with every word that I was no dominant.  And she dumped me.  She was relived to be rid of me.  I could hear it in her voice. 
And there I was, finding out that, even as she was at her most obsessive over us: planning kid's names and calling me when my wife was home ... she was fucking around on me.  with so many men and women.
When I logged off my conversation with her sister, I realized that by the time the chat ended, everyone in the office had left but me.  And there I was.  Alone, ashamed, miserable and so obsessed with Kim. 

And there's something else.  Those words her sister typed.  "His dick is huge."  His dick is huge.  His dick is huge.  And suddenly, I am not just thinking it, I am saying it.  moaning it.  My dick is out in the middle of the abandoned office floor, I have my email open on my phone and I've found the last nude pic she sent me.  Only I can't see that naked, firm body beneath me.  the round pierced nipples, the pout of her plump lips...  No, I see him.  A man I've never met, with a cock the size of my forearm making her scream.  Making her wish she could have had him every night she was with me.  And as  pour my cum onto the office floor, I half wish it myself.


***

I cleaned up as best I could and drove home.  But I was still so hard.  I was still reeling and some vaguely masculine part of me felt so unsatisfied.  Since dumping me a week prior, Kim had fucked at least one girl and was getting serious with a new guy.  I thought, what I needed was to get back out there and find someone else.  But as the night wore on, I decided that maybe it was that I just needed to fuck someone else.

Half drunk and alone, I made a call to an escort.  My early plan was for a beautiful girl.  But my fingers wouldn't make that call, and instead, I called a transgendered girl.  I could only shake my head at myself.  Not only did this prove nothing to me, it proved nothing to her.  "At least," I thought, "I will get to fuck someone tonight."

When the door rang, I regretted it even more.  She was pretty enough.  Asian, most likely Filipino.  She was more broad shouldered than I expected, which made her tits look especially fake.  I led her to the bedroom and expected to lie her down and get to it, but she had other plans.  She nudged me to the bed and began to undress as I sat there.  Once she had her breasts out, she smashed my face into them, demanding for me to suck hard (why do they all love that so much?)  She stroked her dick as I sucked and kissed her tits.  Then she stood up on the bed and fed me her dick.  Without prompting, without a word.  It was just in my mouth.  I wish I could say I was getting excited, but that cock of hers was bigger than mine - all I could think of - and filled my mouth and throat.  I gagged and choked; my eyes watered.  and when she pulled it out, I was so dazed, I didn't protest for a second when she told me to turn over and lay down.  I waited patiently.  I heard the snap of the lube cap.  The rip of the condom wrapper. 
 
They never want to take the dick.  Just give.
 

And she was in me.  Fucking me.  No.  Plowing me.
It took a while of her inside me before I could relax.  before I could let the disappointment of being the bottom go.  I wanted to cry or to tell her to bend over.  Instead I let it fade, let myself take that dick.  Let it be my therapy.  Face down in the pillow.  I felt the buildup as the sheets glided across my half stiff, small dick ... I felt the spurt beneath me as I moaned to my hung transsexual lover, "It's so big.  Your dick is so big ... so big .. so big ..."
 
 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Like a mattress

I can still see myself.  desperately running across the parking lot of the apartment complex.  the wrong apartment complex as it turns out.  I could have gotten back in my car and parked again in the right spot, but ... well... I never stop and think at times like these.  How did i even get to this place from my house?  A few clicks of a mouse, a phone call, a few buttons into my GPS and here i am, running across a parking lot to get to her.  then another.  then up a flight of stairs.  Texting as I run, so the blonde girl with the pert ass, Russian accent and lovely cock will open the door.

As pretty as this ass ...

She does.  She is prettier than the last girl and she has a femininity that makes me wonder if i misread the ad and she is 100% girl.  And as I watch her little waist and tight ass lead me to the bedroom, I find that I don't care.
But as she shuts and latches doors and we move further back into her bedroom.  I'm being led by the hand, and wile I should see it as an outward side of her femininity, i realize that it's more an assertion of her dominance.
I follow like a puppy.
She kisses me, which I find is a rare thing, but all too soon, she is on the bed.  her enticing body ready for me.  her skin is so pake, her waist and hips are not curvy, but fit and sexy just the same.  growing hard, I dive into her perfect hemisphere breasts, so hard and symmetrical. 
(I used to be a tit purist when it came to GGs, but once I began loving the sight of extreme body types and transgendered beauties, I found that there is something arousing in a completely unnaturally round and huge set of implants.)
Hers are not huge, but like oversized grapefruits.  And I am latched to them.  sucking her nipples, swithcing from one to the other.  She is moaning and her feet kick.  "harder!  suck harder!" she demands.  I honestly don't know how to suck her nipples any harder than i am.  i am caving my cheeks in, but she is still insatiable.  I bite at her nipples, but she slaps my back and hips, nearly getting my dick as she swings angrily and demands sucking only.   I let my teeth go and return to my task.  I feel like i am giving the inside of my own mouth hickeys, i am sucking so hard. 
As her hips buckle again, i feel her naked cock against mine.  Mine is slightly thicker, and drifting in and out of complete haredness, while hers is catching up, growing thicker and longer as we play.  it tops out a full inch longer than mine and the sight makes me go soft again with a kind of humiliation.
she turns over for me to fuck her and I frantically jerk myself hard.  I get as good as I can and press my dick into her. 
we fuck for a few minutes.  her ass is tight and her moans are so sexy and cute.  her little Eastern European accent excites me as she moans "fuck me" over and over again.  I could come this way, i know I could come this way, but part of me wants to see her so bad from the front.  to see her cock bounce around, to see her face and her mannequin tits, splotched red from my sucking. So i pull out and motion for her to turn over.

She moves from in front of me, but instead of laying on her back, she gets up, strokes her gorgeously thin and pointy cock hard - and as i am already on my knees, she pushes my head down.  And like a good bitch, I wait.  I hear her lube up, i feel her fingers at my hole.  I could tell her at any second, "lay the fuck down, I'm not done fucking you."  Instead, i press my torso flat and lift my ass as high as I can.  From beneath, i smile at how the red condom makes her penis look a pretty pink color.
And she starts to fuck me.  Hard.  With as much monaing and enthusiasm as she had with my mouth on her nipples (which was ten times the response she gave while I was fucking her.).  Each time she pushes in, i feel that thrust all the way into my gut.  That tickling sensation as she drills my prostate.  Her long, smooth cock serarching out my insides.  It's a sensation i can barely stand.  My penis aches.  My ass feels overstimulated.  I moan for her to stop.  I look back and with a whine, i tell her I want to fuck her again, now.  She laughs, shakes her head and grips my hips - fucking harder.  Just as i feel that panic push me to get up and run away, she picks up her pace.  fucking so fast it's like a machine.  I'd been flipped again...

I feel my balls ache like never before and my limp cock dribbles out fat spurts of cum, each one more agonizing than the last.  It's only my last pulse that has any pleaure to it, because at that moment she pulls out of me, freeing my prostate and causing me to yell.
I hear the snap of her condom, a squeal.  And i feel the splashes on my back.  Hot and thick and wet.  One.  Two.  Three.  Ten ...
In a blink I am standing outside her apartment.  My ass is gaping, my back is coated in her jizz - making my T-shirt stick to it.  My underwear and socks are in my hand.  i simply throw them in a bush as I silently walk to my car.  driving home.  Hoping I can shower before my wife gets home from work.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Flipped


 I'd taken half a day off from work. I like to sneak out of work when I can to buy myself more time before she gets home. But on days like this one, with her completely out of town, the extra time just gives me too much. Too much opportunity to get all aroused, let my inhibitions down and do something wild.
And that's how I found myself looking up shemale escorts on a popular site.
She wasn't my first choice, but she was available and closeby. Our arrangement gave us both time to shower, but it was all I could do to break away from the computer and let go of my cock.
The fantasy, the imagined scenarios forming in my mind were starting to convince me that i didn't even need to go over there. But staring at the pictures of her cock sent me out the door ...
Walking up her stairs and ringing the buzzer, i was nervous. But once I saw her, my cock
jumped. Years of shemale porn and unfulfilling play sessions with other pretty shemales had me ready. i was gonna fuck her so good.

I watched her ass as she led me back from the lobby of her building up to her apartment. She was so bold! In her tiny dress, bra-free, pantyless, incredibly high red heels.  A body that reminded me of
Holly Sweet!

That big round ass swaying. Now guiding me through her kitchen, to her bedroom.
Her outfit was pink, mesh and silly.  And in moments it was gone as she lay back, simply waiting for me to come and worship her.

And I did.  her breasts were huge, firm and deliciously fake.  I could grope, kiss and fondle them all i wished, but I could never ignore their glorious falseness.  As she moaned and guided my head, i sucked and licked more furiously.  But she wanted more, demanding i suck her nipples as hard as i could (not the last transsexual girl to make that demand) and I obeyed, latching hard.
Her hands steered me more; and in that moment, obediently suckling her nipple, I realized it.... I was not going to fuck her.  Her enormous bubble of an ass was never going to be mine.  I was throbbing by this point, kissing her breasts, her stomach, her thighs.  It could have been what I wanted to do, it could have been her hands, but something took my mouth to her lovely soft cock.   and something that made me moan as she grew harder. 
Something.

My tongue swirled on the head of her sweet and slightly crooked cock.  and once it was hard, i didn't even wait for her to tell me.  I let the beautiful engorged, oversized clit fall from my mouth with a *pop* and simply laid back.
She laughed at me, pushed my legs back and entered me.  Fast, deep and hard.  I writhed and moaned, she was standing as i lay back, my ass just hanging over the edge of her bed.  I squealed as femininely as I could, just to arouse myself with the sound; and just as I started to get into it, I was instantly embarrassed.  Her window was wide open and the sounds of us fucking could easily reach anyone walking by only blocks from the downtown restaurants and bars.  I blushed and none of it was lost on her.  "what's wrong baby," she asked, stroking and teasing my dick, as i grew silent and then she punctuated it with an especially loud "Oh baby!"
Then the games were over and she started pounding me.  Harder, deeper and faster.  It was starting to ache, and my heart pounded, growing more and more frantic.  I was starting to not want it anymore, but she kept fucking, harder and louder.  I came to that apartment to fuck her.  I paid her to do want I wanted.  Yet what was happening was all for her.  She stopped playing, stopped acting, stopped doing anything for my benefit.  She let go of my cock and gripped my thighs with both hands.  pressing my thighs back and making her strokes count more.
She just fucked me.  Fucked me.  
And came.  
As she pulled out of me, I began to feel that pang of regret.  My fellow sissies, my fellow shame-filled perverts know that pang.  She was satisfied, i was used, and all i could be was sad.  I wanted desperately to come.  and all she wanted was me out of her apartment.  I stroked my flaccid and cool penis in an attempt to communicate that I wasn't done, but she was pulling her ridiculous mesh dress back on.  Eventually she took pity on me and there, in her bed with my ass gaping and her mesh covered breast in one hand, i stroked a fountain of come from my pathetic cock with the other.  Before I could even rest and enjoy the euphoria, a dry hand towel was thrown in my lap.  I cleaned up fast and escaped into the evening, and walked home.  Feeling the discomfort as a sheen of my cum dried to my stomach, sticking to my T-shirt. 

Sunday, March 29, 2009

No more denial

I am home. My knees are wobbly. Weak.
Sissy's knees.
I've been on them all night.
She's asleep. She stopped waiting up. "just a night out with the guys..." i told her. I wasn't lying. Two guys. I've never been with two men ...
My asshole is sore. Still lubed. I'm in a pleasant dizzy state. My own shirt, stained by the cum on my chest. My mouth, slightly aching.
My cocklet. Also sore. From the intense ejaculation. And yet as i hear my wife snore from the upstairs bedroom, I feel ... sneaky. Like there's a few more precious seconds of freedom. Seconds that I must use before my privacy is all gone again.
I blink.
I don't know anymore how I got here. - must be drunker than i thought. I'm in the basement. Fucking my ass with the dildo I have extracted from its hiding place. My lubed ass is welcoming the feel of a nice big cock once again tonight - this morning.
My penis is still aching, but hard as a rock. I'm trying to find a free hand to stroke it. One is holding a dildo and the other ... Jesus! It's like I'm watching someone else.
I can't even believe this. The other hand is holding my cell phone. I've called a niteflirt girl. I'm hearing myself telling the phone sex girl how much of a sissy husband I am. She's calling me a queer. I tell her I want to get fucked in front of her. In front of my wife!
I barely know what i'm saying, just letting words flow. I stroke myself hard - then giggle as my boycunt squeezes the dildo out with nothing to push it in. The rush makes my cock twitch.
"I'm gonna ... ," i moan desperately to the girl on the phone. Then...
"Creak!"
I hear my wife getting up from the bed. Two floors up. But I know it's her.
I need to stop. Get to the kitchen.
Gripping the phone. I stand to pull up the sweats i had changed into. My hand is still not ready to stop. The phone girl moans. I clap the phone shut. But it's too late. Under my pants, my cock lets go. Warm wet spurts of cum splash the pants, run coldly down my leg. Sneaking up the stairs, I am still cumming.
We meet in the kitchen. I'm getting a glass of water. She leads me to bed. My cock pulses one last time. The cum running to my toes.
And the sissy falls asleep.